It's okay to not be the person your parents want you to be.

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 In the era of information overload,instant gratification and superficiality it's easy to misunderstand things. However if you are curious,open and have a desire for depth then this is for you.

This thought process has the power to trigger you if taken out of context.At the same time if you could see the context and the depth with which it is being said it has the power to liberate you.

Yesterday I read one article on Instagram tweakindia page .And I was reflecting over that,when this perspective emerged.


And it is applicable for everyone who has the good boy/good girl syndrome or to those who feels they could not be the good boy/good girl in the eyes of their parents/caregivers.


As a child we have always tried to do and be what our parents want us to be to feel loved,to get their validation.

And as a adult it's still in our subconscious.

For a longest period of my life I wanted my father's approval and appreciation.And tried to do things to be a good daughter in his eyes.

But in the process of being someone he wants or at least I thought he wanted,I lost myself.


It's difficult to disappoint people, especially the close ones,our parents.And as an adult we are still trying to do things or not do things(though we ourselves wanted)to get their validation as a good daughter/son ,unconsciously.

A part of it,I still have inside me which I am working on.


I am grateful for everything they did for me and I will always be.

However I have realised...to be my authentic self,I need to disappoint people and sometimes it means my own parents too.


I know this thought will not gel well with a lot of people.And I understand that.

We have conditioned to respect our elders.And It's a really great thing to do.However respecting someone doesn't mean you have to do everything they say.

I have seen people following everything their elders say in the name of respect but inside they resent themselves and it percolates their relationship with the person/elders as well.And eventually they play the blame game(I did everything you wanted me to do but it's not enough for you)

Well,I did the same.

But it's not a good place to be in.

Hence I decided at any point I don't want to resent my parents and that's my definition of respect for them.

Though externally I am making decisions , doing things that are different from how they want me to do but internally I will always be grateful for what they have done for me.

At any point this thought is not to for you to avoid the basic responsibility you have towards your parents or to be aggressive and adamant in your communication with them.

In fact this is actually in the true sense giving them the respect . Because now you are doing things out of love and not from the fear of not being a good boy/good girl in their eyes.

It's okay to not be everything your parents want you to be.

If you could see & understand this perspective I would like you to reflect on where in your life you are not living your authentic self because somewhere in the depth you're trying to be the version your parents want you to be.


Love,

Pratiksha


P.S.- I would love to hear your perspective on this.

Connect with me on Instagram drpratikshakhot.


Also sharing here the article of tweakindia which invokes this perspective.

Tweakindia


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